wolverxne:

Untitled | by: { Julian Bialowas }

the-milk-eyed-mender:

the high horse analogy just doesnt resonate w me i dont understand why i should want to get off my high horse my horse is so tall, he is enormous and titanically powerful, he will stamp on my dissidents and scatter them like cockroaches, its a good place for me to be strategically

(via heal-my-heart)

slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

(Source: tinymaw, via heal-my-heart)

starllex:

*plays with tie nervously at job interview* 

"Sorry, I’ve never had a job interview and I’m nervous haha."

"That’s okay just please stop playing with my tie and sit on your side of the desk"

(via heal-my-heart)

brutalgeneration:

(by Davide Salvi)
  • kids: hey dad where are we going for our next vacation
  • me: well lets see kids
  • me: *throws dart at map of the world*
  • me: hm
  • me: another trip to the middle of the pacific ocean
kennakittymeow:

gatobekittenmerightmeow:

transdimensionalboundaries:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

WALNUT.

WALNUUUUT

Yeah, you fucking walnut.

kennakittymeow:

gatobekittenmerightmeow:

transdimensionalboundaries:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

WALNUT.

WALNUUUUT

Yeah, you fucking walnut.

(Source: biencorrect, via consultingpsychopaths)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

me: goodnight moon
moon: i have a girlfriend you freak

(via heal-my-heart)